You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
