please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize