my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
