My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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