found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
