and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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