so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
