the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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