i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
