Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
