I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
