Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
