She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
