I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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