I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
