.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We had sex on a dog bed..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
