Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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