I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
