the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
