Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
