I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
