All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize