i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
