There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
