ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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