don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
