and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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