It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
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Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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