You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
