how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
