i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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