real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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