just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize