apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize