These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
