Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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