Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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