You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
