Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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