You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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