tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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