NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
