I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
