my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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