The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize