i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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