you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
