First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
