i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize