hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
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Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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