I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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