I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
