My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
