ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
