Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
