Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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