he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
