She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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