She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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