And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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